The subject of nudity is unfortunately often surrounded by taboos, but there needn’t be any inhibition within a family with children under 11.
• Try not to program your children with your own hang-ups about nudity, if you have them. Your younger children will be naturally unembarrassed; take your lead from them.
• At around eight or nine, however, some children (particularly girls) may give you very clear signals that they are no longer comfortable about exposing their bodies. You may find that your daughter starts to bolt the bathroom door for the first time, and cover herself up when changing for swimming or sport. When this happens, respect her need for privacy.
• The fewer limit set, the better. At the age of five or six, children follow parents, especially mothers into the lavatory and come into the bedroom at any time, even when she is dressing. Some parents may well feel shy about this, but it is important to make available to children at all times, as well as to make them feel comfortable with nakedness and therefore with their own bodies.
• Of course, your children also will have to learn that outside your home others may not be so open about nudity and some, particularly older people such as grandparents, may see things differently; you may need to explain that it’s good manners not embarrass other people. What is perfectly acceptable at home may not be possible or advisable elsewhere.
Is Masturbation in children normal?
Masturbation can be a difficult question for parents to face – not because the subject is in itself complicated, but because of their attitudes to it. your child has the right to be relaxed about masturbation. Being clear in your own mind that masturbation is normal and beneficial will help to dispel the myths that surround it.
• Many parents feel very confused about masturbation because of misunderstanding starting in their own childhood. Masturbation is not bad in itself; treat it as a normal part of growing up and don’t plant the seeds of shame.
• Tolerate or ignore masturbation; if questions arise, answer them; agree that “it feels nice to touch your penis”, but set limits: “this is something we do it private.” If your child masturbates in public, treat it as you would bad manners or lack of thoughtfulness.
• If a child talks about someone who is significantly older and more developed touching him, you should treat this as a danger signal. Calmly ascertain exactly what has happened and be vigilant when he is with that person.
• Masturbation is a healthy and natural way to release tension. The only time it is a concern when a child is masturbating habitually to escape from a horrible world, because he was being emotionally deprived. A child like this needs help; the way to correct it is to give love, not punishment.
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